When I was in college, I went through a period of extreme searching, trying to figure out who I was and who I was supposed to be. In this time, I wrote a lot. I wrote about my frustrations and about my discoveries. This blog post is one I wrote 8 years ago during that time. I hope you can see a little where I come from while reading this.
I have been learning a lot lately, it’s not always things I want to learn, but things I am learning regardless. I would say that this knowledge I am slowly acquiring is something that I should have had a long time ago.
I am learning that without faith, my life is dull and not as vibrant as it should be, that the sky isn’t as blue as it can be, that my life isn’t anything like it should be. I am learning that before I can love anything or even myself, I must first be madly in love with the person who makes all those colors so vibrant, who in reality is the most vibrant thing that has ever existed.
Like really, think about it…our Savior is the creator of everything in this entire world. We as humans and children of our Savior, made in his image, are a very vibrant and diverse people. If we are made in his image, how much more vast, vibrant, diverse, and amazing is our Lord? I mean this concept is hard to understand, but to me, the best way I can imagine it would be to think of this huge massive wall mural. This mural is the biggest mural of any kind in the entire world. Imagine that standing in front of this mural, facing this mural, are millions and millions of people all staring, captivated; they can’t take their eyes away, they can’t even move. Then imagine that there are even more people standing farther out from the crowd, and they aren’t even paying attention to the mural, they are off doing their own thing…but you keep asking yourself how can they just ignore it?
I mean if only they would look at how beautiful it is, if they would turn around, open their eyes and just see….see all the millions of colors, all the vibrancy of the mural, how the mural has every part of every person standing in front of it, every race, every color, every passion – it’s there! They just have to look and see for themselves.
This is sort of what I see my Jesus as. I don’t know if it makes sense to you, but the more I think about it, the more my imagery of Jesus will grow. As it does I hope and pray my understanding and my life will grow along with it.
The one thing I ask of the lord—the thing I seek most—is to live in the house of the lord all the days of my life,delighting in the lord’s perfections and meditating in his Temple. – Psalms 27:4